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The Encounter must be yours
Tammy Preston

The Encounter must be yours

  • By Tammy Preston
  • 16/11/2015
  • News

While there is important strength to be found in the community of faith and being with others that spur us on, our encounters with the Jesus, God and the Holy Spirit must be our own.

Our encounters with Jesus must be our own. A Christian will not get very far on someone else’s encounters.  This is a very important formation piece. When Jesus left this earth, He said “It is better that I Leave so the spirit can come.” (John 16:7) If Jesus was still present and visible on this earth our focus would be on Him, where He is, what He is doing, seeing Him as much as we can and trying to get contact with Him. After all, He is the Son of God, so who wouldn’t?  It is our human nature to get our inspiration from tangible things.

Jesus said that the comforter would come; a guide, a teacher who would be available to everyone, everywhere, anytime. The spirit has been described as the wind, breath, life that flows, a fire and much more.

“The wind can be blowing, but if your sail isn’t raised, you wont go far. You can be surrounded by oxygen, but if you don’t breathe, it won’t do you any good. The sap can be flowing, but if the branch is not connected to the vine, it will wither. If you don’t put wood in your hearth, a lit match won’t burn long. It is the same with the spirit. All that remains is for us to learn how to let the spirit fill, flow and glow within us.” (McLaren, PG 254)

While there is important strength to be found in the community of faith and being with others that spur us on, our encounters with the Jesus, God and the Holy Spirit must be our own.

Sometimes I feel sad that I didn’t live in the time of Jesus, and get to actually meet Him and sit at His feet and see the miracles He did, but then I realise that now I have something so beautiful. I have His spirit inside me, guiding me daily, never leaving me. I don’t have to go to a service, a meeting, a conference, trek to a far off land to meet a man who may place his hand on me and bless me. I can encounter Jesus daily, just Him, as I get up in the morning, as I walk through the day, as I lay down at night.

Formation and growth can happen at any time, when you “walk with the spirit of Jesus”. But this must be your own journey.

Sometimes the church “mis-communicated” to young and old, that programs, services, teachers and leaders are who you must come to, to encounter Jesus?  Have we created spaces, liturgy, services, practices and processes where we have come to believe that if we do, recite, or attend, then and only then, Jesus will fill us again? We must be aware that this is our human nature that needs to make a formula out of things; that desires to have 4 steps to assure an encounter. It becomes a dangerous thing when people come to church for the purpose of getting another fix, another shot to keep them going for the next week.

As I read more and more about the life of Jesus, He sensed when people were enjoying the spectacle of being with Him, and it was then that He would often retreat. Jesus did things differently all the time. Each encounter with individuals was exactly that, unique and individual?  There are some things that never change … the fruit of the spirit is always love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. This fruit guides us in what is really the Spirit of Jesus working in us and its purpose is always about transformation of a person’s life.

We ask why are so many people leaving the church? I believe it is partly because they are withering from being unconnected and have found the conduit of a service or a leader is not enough anymore. Because they can’t breath throughout the week well enough, and the oxygen they get on a Sunday morning is just not enough. Because they have not been encouraged or taught to put their own sails up and catch the daily wind of the spirit. Because their kindling has all burnt up as they are waiting from Sunday to Sunday, or from event to event, and it is just too long. In the meantime they find other things to get the fire going. If we are going to be to “Here2Stay” in life long discipleship, our encounters must be our own.

What is your “Jesus Encounter” story?

We cannot put a program, a set time a day, an age limit, or 6-week course on the Spirit of Jesus. The spirit of Jesus is not limited for some to access and share out as they will. Our encounter with Jesus must be our own. The greatest thing any program, ministry, leader or church can do is to keep drawing us closer to the truth that our encounter with Christ must be our own. The spirit is always moving, always present and we must learn how to let the spirit fill, flow and glow within us.

 

 

Mentoring 101
Tammy Preston

Mentoring 101

  • By Tammy Preston
  • 28/10/2015
  • News

 It is natural to go back to what you know when you are not sure of the future. It is during these times of uncertainty that the right mentoring and coaching is vital to anyone’s life. 

 A few of Jesus disciples were back fishing only a week after Jesus had died and risen again and had even appeared to them.  It is natural to go back to what you know when you are not sure of the future and stick to what is familiar.  Our human nature will do this even when it very destructive for us. It is during these times of uncertainty that the right mentoring and coaching is vital to anyone’s life. 

So the disciples are fishing, they have gone back to what is known, what is sure, can I even say “easy”. It seems to be an acceptable thing to do, to go and get a job, provide for your family and try to make ends meet especially after three years of travelling with a miracle man are over.   It is interesting that this is even after they have seen Jesus in the upper room and they know He has risen.  I would have thought this would have been a time when they would have been the MOST excited about the future. I wonder if they were a little scared.   They were forging into new territory and were not sure what it all meant; so they went back to what was familiar.

Peter must have been carrying a big dose of guilt and shame and the prospect of facing Jesus, his master and mentor would not have been easy after all that happened only a week ago. However Jesus shows himself to be a caring, loving mentor and makes a very strong point by his deliberate actions.  He does not lecture, or lay out a guilt trip or start a condemning conversation.   It is often in what is NOT said, even if tempted to do so, that qualifies a good mentor or coach. When we ask our kids if we can have a chat with them, their first response is often, ”What have I done wrong now?” Boy, have we failed in mentoring 101!

Jesus is strong yet gentle, firm yet loving, strong on actions and symbolism, rather than put downs and “Ï told you so”. He says, “Did you catch anything for breakfast?” (John 21:5) When the response is “NO”, he doesn’t say, “Well that’s because you shouldn’t be here……what the heck do you think you are doing?”  He says, “Try the other side”. The nets are suddenly full showing them an incredible visual for the first time they meet Jesus. It shows that He will provide our basic needs if we trust him. His actions may even say, “If you want to go back to fishing, I will bless you.”  I believe he was also recreating an experience of when He first said called them to become “fishers of men”.  This was an anchor point that would ground Peter in his ultimate calling.

What visuals, actions, experiences and anchors are you creating for those you mentor that help them stay the course?   I believe God creates these all the time for his disciples and maybe our call as mentors and coaches is to bring people back to this place time and time again in various ways.

Peter knew who the stranger on the beach was. I love the fact that Peter jumps out of the boat immediately at a time when he could have felt like he couldn’t possibly face the One he had let down so badly.  Instead he runs to Him!  This challenges me as a coach and mentor, as I find often when people feel that they have messed up they try to avoid me. There is so much I need to learn from the way Jesus mentored and coached his disciples.

Jesus ever so gently, but firmly, addresses the “elephant in the room” or more correctly on the beach. Jesus chooses to address what must have been an awkward situation, head on. He does it by breaking bread with them and sharing it, just like he did the night before he died. He uses symbolism, past experiences and reminders to create an environment that allows a “safe” conversation. There is something powerful about breaking bread together. As coaches we can create rituals and moments shared over and over again that become safe places, anchor points and places of trust where difficult and constructive conversations can be had.

Three times Jesus asks Peter, “Do you love me?” (John 21:15-21) There are so many layers to this conversation however the layer that challenges me most as a coach and mentor is the manner in which He makes his point without “over saying” it or heaping on the guilt.  He knows when NOT to tell a story, a parable or a life lesson but rather by His simple actions and questions, over a simple breakfast, He releases Peter to move on and leave the past behind. Through His love, Jesus empowers Peter to leave his past failures behind and move forward.  What should our focus be on as coaches and mentors? What do people hear from us?  Most of us are acutely aware of our own fears and failures, we don’t often need to hear or feel them again from someone else.   What we need is to sense the love and grace that empowers us to move through them and know that we are not alone in that process.

“If each new generation of disciples follows this example, centuries from now apprentices will still be learning the way of Jesus from mentors, so they can become mentors for the following generations”

(B. McLaren, We Make The Road By Walking, pg 219)

Jesus finished the breakfast with the call, “Follow me.” Peter immediately loses focus and asks about someone else and what is going to happen to them and Jesus replies, “Don’t you worry about them, you simply follow me”.  The call has never changed even though at times there will be uncertainty, dark nights and empty nets. Others will fall away, get distracted and stop following.  Opportunities and old habits will be tempting and we may trip over, but a coach and mentor walks with you through it all and helps anchor you to the call.  We all need this type of coach/mentor.  We all need to be this type of coach/mentor to others.

 

How very “un-Churched”
Tammy Preston

How very “un-Churched”

When the facts are clear that Australians are decreasingly NOT going to Church any more, and many churches are ageing and decreasing rapidly, surely we need to be asking, as I am sure McDonalds did many years ago, how can we attract a wider clientele and meet the needs of the community, so more people will come, taste and see that the Lord is good?

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McDonalds the restaurant has fascinated me over the last decade as I have watched the incredible changes it has made to connect with its audience and meet needs in the community. McDonalds in Australia has changed completely in the past 10 years.

I would never have imagined walking into a McDonalds, looking around and seeing mainly adults enjoying a cup of coffee and sweet snack, reading a paper on soft chairs.

I would never have imagined seeing other people being served at their table, a self-created burger on a lovely wooden board with French fries in a cute stainless steel basket.

I would have never imagined that if I was trying to eat something that was low in calories, I could go to McDonalds and have a grilled chicken salad and it would be reasonably healthy.

I would never imagined seeing a sign saying “Maccas” instead of McDonalds.

I would never have imagined that McDonalds would have an add campaign like “How Very un-McDonalds”. To even admit that, let alone make it their new catch phrase, was intriguing for me.

McDonalds has changed so much that now it is a place where not only you can take your kids for a cheap meal and a play in the playground, but the whole family can come and there is something for everyone. In effect, it has extended its clientele to just about every age group. This is very clever in business terms and I dare say in terms of profit as well, but ultimately it means more and more people, and different types of people are coming through the door.

I have to be honest. I would very rarely choose to eat at McDonalds over other options, unless I am on a long road-trip and have no other options (now there’s another blog) but I went into a McDonalds the other day, because quite frankly I was intrigued with the new advertising and the ability to create your own burger. McDonalds still has the Big Mac and happy meal, the original menu has not changed and neither has the heart of McDonalds changed and yet … it has become “very un-McDonalds”. I was surprised to see very few children and mostly adults in there at the time.

I may be crucified in saying this, but I couldn’t help think that the church has a lot to learn from McDonalds. When the facts are clear that Australians are decreasingly NOT going to Church any more, and many churches are ageing and decreasing rapidly, surely we need to be asking, as I am sure McDonalds did many years ago, how can we attract a wider clientele and meet the needs of the community, so more people will come, taste and see that the Lord is good? The church’s mission and heart has not changed over the years, but what if our new catch phrase was “How very un-churched”?

What would that look like? What would need to change in the church, for young people to walk in and meet Jesus? What would need to change for a struggling, broken family to walk in and meet Jesus? What would need to change for someone who has all they need and can provide for themselves and their household, but still feel that they need to belong to something bigger than themselves, who long to serve and make a difference in life? What would need to change for someone who had preconceived ideas of what Church is like, for them to be open to coming into the house of God again or maybe for the very first time?

For like me just recently, I just HAD to go in and check out what was “very un-Mcdonalds” about McDonalds NOW, and I was pleasantly surprised and impressed. I just HAD to order my own ‘Create your own burger’ and it was a good experience. What would the Church need to do to create an environment that was “very unchurched” so that many more people would be open to walking toward Jesus’s love and not stay away because of their preconceived ideas, valid or not, about the “church”?

It was very enlightening to chat to a McDonalds employee, who when asked about the new “create your own burger” promotion, crinkled her nose and said “oh, everyone hates it at work because it is too much hassle”. I can understand that feeling when the process has been a certain way for so long, to make such a change is a hassle. It is why “change” rarely happens. The thing is if the Church doesn’t change there are many that simply won’t exist as they are now for very long.

Jesus calls us to change, to reach out, to open doors, to do what ever it takes that they might be saved. Surely this is our calling, our mission, our quest, as leaders of the Christian faith, to do whatever it takes to break down the walls, the assumptions, the negativity that stops people from meeting Jesus firsthand, to taste and see that the Lord, (God’s love) is good. I long to see people who have not been into a Church in long time, if ever, walk into a church environment and say “wow, how very un-churched”. To me this means walls and assumptions and negativity are beginning to break down. This is when people can be more open to His saving grace, love and forgiveness which has never changed, but has often been lost in translation, packaging or the communication of the church today.

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If you asked these questions in your church/faith community...what would need to change?

Messy Families
Tammy Preston

Messy Families

  • By Tammy Preston
  • 26/08/2015
  • News

When I look at the families in the Bible I love that they don’t try to mask or hide anything. All the dysfunction, the lies, the deceit, the pain and the forgiveness and healing is all out there for all to see.

There is a new movement in faith communities around the world called ‘Messy Church”. The heartbeat of this ministry is to create a space where families of all ages can grow, learn and be together. The environment created is often messy with craft, games, food, noise, and many interactive activities for all age to engage in. It is acceptable and fun to make a MESS together. This is often a more comfortable environment to bring people into to meet than more traditional church experiences. Anyone who knows me knows that I am a BIG fan of these types of gatherings and in fact I am usually the one making most of the mess or instigating the ideas that create the MESS.

It is funny how MESS in this context is not only accepted, but expected, but when it comes to family MESS we are very good at covering it up. Let’s face it, if we are honest FAMILY LIFE can be some of the messiest places and I am not just talking about the physical mess of a home. Yet, one of the greatest challenges in living in an intergenerational faith community has been the people that come and leave because….. honestly they find it too confronting to actually be a part of a community where others might see that parts of their lives are a MESS. In a smaller faith community this is not as easy to hide as it is in a larger community. We try so hard to HIDE our struggles, our dysfunction, our imperfections and Sunday mornings has become the place where Christians can be guilty of putting their best clothes on, their best happy face and their best behaviour ensuring everyone only sees the good bits. I have watched hurting families who feel that when things get really MESSY the first place they must pull away from is their “Faith Community”. They fear what people will think or how they will be treated. What saddens me most is that we are so conditioned by this that our goals for our worship experiences have become more about creating an environment where the truth can be hidden and masked, rather than creating an environment where the MESS can be shared, restored, supported and listened to. I want to ask is this TRUE community?

When I look at the families in the Bible I love that they don’t try to mask or hide anything. All the dysfunction, the lies, the deceit, the pain and the forgiveness and healing is all out there for all to see. Have you ever thought while you are reading, “OMG, how did YOU ever get into the BIBLE?!” But then quickly say, “But I am so glad you are there, to remind me that I am not the only one who makes a MESS!”

Let’s start at Genesis. Fathers switching brides on the wedding night (Genesis 29:23), Fathers sleeping with multiple woman (Genesis 29-30), children cheating, lying and stealing from each other (Genesis 27:35), mothers favouring one child over another and scheming for them to take a something that is not theirs (Genesis 27: 13), wife’s deceiving husbands (Genesis 27:42-46), brothers plotting to kill their brother (Genesis 37:18), husbands pretending they are not married so they protect themselves from being killed (Genesis 12:11-20), Generations repeating the same hurtful behaviour over and over again and this is just the chosen ones, God’s people destined to fulfil God’s purposes here on earth. This is not the latest Hollywood sitcom, this is the BIBLE. This is real and this MESSY! You don’t have to scrape very deep to know that the same pain and hurt is riddled within families but we have just become very good at hiding it.

So you may be wondering is there a happy ending to this? Where are you going with this? Well, for me there is so much comfort in knowing that from the beginning of time people have always made MESSY mistakes and from the beginning of time families have been MESSY. Yes, I do find comfort in the fact that there is no PERFECT family. But I find even greater comfort in the fact that from the beginning of time God has always had a plan. That He uses MESSY families in mighty ways and that it is often IN the MESS that HE is glorified and HIS purposes are fulfilled.

Why do we continue to hide and mask the MESS?

So my big question is why do we continue to hide and mask the MESS? Why do we run from God and Christian community when the MESS hits? Why do only parents who are doing OK go to parenting seminars and not the ones that could really do with some support? Why, when we feel like a MESS do we feel we have to put on a happy face and pretend that everything is OK? When I feel like a MESS as parent, why do I retreat and think that I can’t be in ministry if I can’t get my own family matters correct? If this was the TRUTH then ABRAHAM, ISAAC, JACOB, JOSEPH, DAVID and the list goes on……wouldn’t deserve to be used by God either!

Maybe we need to get MESSIER, more REAL, and more HONEST. Maybe then the world would see my God who gives me daily strength to serve and follow Him and to be the kind of parent, wife, daughter, aunty and friend He desires me to be. They will see that He is one that can walk with them too, EVEN IN THE MESS.

The Rhythm of BOTH/AND
Tammy Preston

The Rhythm of BOTH/AND

  • By Tammy Preston
  • 30/07/2015
  • News

I believe that if we could get into the rhythm of “BOTH/AND” we could get the best of both worlds

There has been much discussion in the Church about whether we should be all together across the ages or whether we should be in divided age groupings. There are positives and negatives for both camps. I believe that if we could get into the rhythm of “BOTH/AND” we could get the best of both worlds. The trouble is the conversation has been more about “EITHER/OR” and I know I have been guilty of being a part of these conversations over time.

As I STOP and consider this week of “life together” in our community, I see that daily we oscillate in the BOTH/AND rather than the EITHER /OR. All have been positive and have their value. Last Sunday was filled with time across the ages of eating together, worshiping, praying and sharing all together(Generational connections/Big story of the Bible/ Encounters with Jesus). Then in our home over the past 2 days different ages have come together to spend intentional time together (Mentoring) as well as quality family time over meals. Last night my husband and I were out having a date night (family) and we came home to my daughter (14years) leading worship in our lounge with her peers and a message from my son (17years) saying he was at his peer’s house playing drums and worshipping with a full house of young adults. My husband sat out in the car park (because we didn’t want to disturb what God was doing) praising God for positive peer groups and yet very thankful that Sunday was full of all the ages coming together to celebrate and worship our God (Generational Connections).

Today, our community tutors young kids in Maths and English. It is such a joy to see teenagers, young adults and the elderly all serve together to help struggling children in their school work. (Mentoring and coaching/responding with compassion/Serving in mission). The next two days we will see elderly groups and the youth connect separately for Positive peer groups and then next Sunday comes around and we will all be together across the ages (Generational connections) in a space we called CONNECT. This is simply an account of 7 days in our faith community. It is the rhythm of our community. It is a BOTH/ AND rhythm.

The key is a rhythm where these aspects are BOTH/AND and that we are intentional about them. We desire to create spaces where this is an important part of daily life. It is important to take time to STOP every now and then and consider how you spend your days? What is important? Why do we do what we do? What has eternal value? Are we being intentional about this precious and limited time we have on earth? If we STOP and find that it is more a case of EITHER /OR then I think we have a problem. Is it PROGRAMS or PEOPLE? Is it WORK or FAMILY? Is it AGED BASED EVENTS or ALL TOGETHER? Is it LEISURE or SERVING. If it is either/or, rather than both/and we are missing key elements of our faith formation.

It is a BOTH/ AND rhythm.

Q: What is your weekly rhythm?

Q: What is your monthly rhythm?

Take some time to STOP and think about it. It will tell you a lot about what you value as parents, pastors and leaders.